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Serving Up Valentines

T-minus one day until Valentine’s Day!  There tend to be two opposite camps when it comes to celebrating this grandiose holiday.  Participants love it and go all out (read:  when I was in high school many years ago, the main office would be chalk full of red, pink and white balloons attached to life size bears).  This is not an exaggeration.  I was never on the receiving end of such pompous gestures, but I digress.

There are those that detest the thought of acknowledging the Hallmark occasion, swearing that love should be celebrated all the time, and not just on a particular day.  Whatever your side, there is no denying that at the core of who we are, we want to be and feel loved.

I have spoken with many couples over the years whose communication was at a crossfire.  A former coworker summed it up best.  After more than 30 years of marriage, his wife left him.  “She said I didn’t love her anymore,” he shared.  “She told me that our house and her closet were full of fine things, clothes, linens, but that wasn’t love.”  My heart broke for him.

In his book The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines the five ways most people give and receive love.  Below, I have outlined them with some ideas on how to meet them.

If you do not know what your preferred language is, or that of your significant other or close friend(s), taking this quiz is a good place to start.

Acts of Service:  I am quite familiar with this category, as it is my most dominant one.  My day is made when my husband takes out the trash, does the dishes or helps with the laundry, particularly if I do not have to ask him to.  Likewise, when I prepare supper for him, take care of the children, or ask him if he would like something from the kitchen when I grab an item for myself, it is my way of showing him that I care.  Other ideas to help an Acts of Service extraordinaire feel loved:  fill up their gas tank, pick up the house one day, take the children off their hands so they can enjoy some alone time, and serve them a beverage or snack.

Locals, check out Seeds of Hope on Facebook. My Valentine and I completed this painting under their instruction and enjoyed some great quality time while creating it.

Quality Time:  I can go weeks without seeing some of my closest friends.  Because of the season of life I am currently in, sometimes this is the norm.  As long as I have their undivided attention when we are together, and vice-versa, my love cup is full.  This is also the case with long-distance friendships.  A special text to let me know I am being thought of goes a
long way, as do those rare, but cherished, phone conversations.  Helpful ideas for quality timers:  go out for a one-on-one coffee date, put the cell phone down, ask lots of questions and listen intently to their responses, and make good eye-contact.

Words of Affirmation:  My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years.  His spirit can live or die by my words.  I have seen him physically stand taller and walk stronger when I praise him.  His inner spirit perking up manifests itself on the outside.  For word lovers:  write what you love about them as a morning message on a mirror, in marker or lipstick, write them a special note and place it somewhere they would not expect it, call them and let them know all the ways you appreciate them, and let them hear you praising them in front of others.

Physical Touch:  While the practice of this particular form of communication may seem obvious, it is not always.  The art of physical touch is not only important to perfect in the bedroom with your spouse, but outside of it as well.  Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, kissing and caressing in nonsexual ways are of utmost importance to a person whose number one goal is physical touch in a relationship.  Among girlfriends, I will occasionally reach out and pat them on the back, hug them or put my hand somewhere that affirms I am listening to them.

Need some thoughtful gift ideas? Adore Me Personalized Cards to the rescue!

Gifts:  I must confess, this is the love language I struggle with the most.  I am not the best gift-giver.  Rather than trying to “break even” in returning my affection to people that have lavished me with presents, I have outright asked what they would like, made homemade gifts, gifted photos of our children and family to them, and paid careful attention to items they have mentioned they needed or wanted. Along with the gift idea card, AdoreMe has some great gift ideas on things from comfy pjs to workout gear that make great gifts.

Now tell me, do you and your significant other have fun traditions you do every year for Valentine’s Day?  Do you go out with friends?  If you did not previously know about their love languages, how is this new knowledge going to help you to better love and serve them in the future?  I would love to hear from you!

My main squeeze and me. We are lifelong love students of one another.
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The Problem with “Skinny”

Disclaimer:  There are people I care deeply about who are naturally thin.  This post is in no way meant to demean you or anyone else who is slender.  Enjoy the gift, I say!

Personal

The story of how I came across PÜR (Personal, Unique and Rewarding) Fitness is quite serendipitous.  I was mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed in early December, when I read the local gym would be giving away various packages for the month.  Knowing that I needed to take charge of my health and make changes, I filled out a quick, online survey that included my name, basic information, and why I was interested in winning.

It was the third week in December that I found out I had won a significant combo:  12 FREE workout sessions for the month of January, a package normally worth $150.  I was ecstatic!  I knew this was the new beginning I longed for.

I’m not athletic.  In elementary school, I was that child that preferred having free time over structured physical activities.  I loathed whenever we were assessed for grades.  The sun was hot; the South Texas blacktop, even hotter.

October 12, 2008: the day I ran the Chicago Marathon. I will likely never be this skinny again (and yes, I was in this photo). I’m okay with that.

When I was living in Iowa in my early twenties, I had a friend introduce me to jogging.  We started off slowly, with interval training (ex: 2 minutes of walking, 1 minute of jogging, alternating for 30 minutes).  After a couple of months she challenged me to sign up for a 5K.  I did, and the rest is history.  I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2008, and the San Antonio Rock n’ Roll Marathon in 2010.  I fell in love with the endorphins and everything about running.

Flash-forward to almost ten years later, and people still associate me with marathoning.  While I do not mind this, my marathoning days are well behind me.  Because I ran much then, peers sometimes assume I still do, or that at the very least, I am athletic.

With comments some have shared over the years, I get the impression that I’m someone who’s viewed as having an easier time than others managing my weight.  Having three children in the span of the last five years (all delivered via c-section), has left me feeling like a stranger in my own body.  Examples of these shared remarks:

When doing Zumba with friends and speaking to an instructor, one of them, referring to me, said, “Ella no lo necesita.  Ella ya esta flaca.”  Meaning, “She doesn’t need this class.  She’s already skinny.”

When traveling with a dear friend abroad:  “I wish I had your body.”

Well-meaning acquaintances during my pregnancy:  “You’re one of those pregnant ladies that’s all belly!”

Meanwhile, I have had an incredibly difficult time shedding the baby weight after carrying three children back-to-back.  My social media feed bursts with moms who have lost all the weight—and then some—nursing.  I am still nursing my 7-month-old daughter regularly and exercising more than I have in a long time.  But, I have only managed to drop half of the baby weight.  I have learned recently, though, that it’s not always about the number on the scale.

Unique 

Today’s small group working with two of our trainers, Brenda and Elizabeth. They kick my butt every Monday (Body Sculpting).

When I first stepped into PÜR Fitness, there were many qualities that made it stand out as a nontraditional gym.  Smaller than most commercialized gyms, there were about 4-5 people working out that particular hour.  As I tried different classes (TRX, HIIT and Body Sculpting) throughout the month, I found that these smaller crowds are the norm, and I LOVE it.  Every time I attended a session, I received individual attention from one of the trainers.  Every time.

As a former gym hater, I never liked huge complexes sprawling with people.  Frankly, when I was working with a personal trainer at another local gym in my mid-twenties, I felt like such places were meat markets.  You could feel the tension as different gym-goers competed to hook-up with one another.  I was not interested.

I have felt a positive difference in my energy levels and can tell that I have lost inches.  Friendships are being developed with people I would not normally get to interact with and I am so thankful.

Rewarding

Owner and trainer Omar Garza decided to leave the corporate gym world in order to fulfill his vision of working with and helping people.  Established in 2009, Garza has a long-term dream of building a 5,000 sq. ft. facility that will be utilized as a private, membership-based facility, with an emphasis on personal training.  A lover of people, he cherishes the relationships he builds with his clients.

Garza inspires the community to lead healthier and more active lifestyles, recognizing that such a feat is especially challenging in Brownsville, where taco stands and panaderías (or bakeries) dominate food choices.  “Having a sick father figure at home that struggled with diabetes and heart issues made me want to give back and help,” he sincerely shared.

Family members Mary Valdez, and Rene and Maria Elena Corbeil have been PÜR Fitness clients for four years.  Valdez, a 70-year old former pre-diabetic, shared the sources of her faithfulness, “I’m able to move around [more].  I’m able to get off the floor.”

From L-R: Clients Rene and Maria Elena Corbeil, and Mary Valdez. Trainers Elizabeth Doster (intern), and husband and wife team Brenda Rosas and Omar Garza.

Rene Corbeil originally joined because his cholesterol, blood pressure and sugar levels were out of control.  His doctor encouraged him to change his habits in order to get off of medication.  He is currently medication-free.

Maria Elena added, “For me, I feel really energetic on one hand, and it’s helped me get rid of my nervous energy on the other hand.  So for me it really helps manage stress.  I’m much calmer.  I sleep better at night.”

The more I spoke with gym members and experienced sessions firsthand, I realized PÜR Fitness is exactly what it sets out to be:  Personalized, Unique and Rewarding.  None of this was more evident than when I spoke with long-term member and new friend, Ana Bodden Gault.

Under Garza’s tutelage for six years, Gault is nearly brought to tears when speaking of her coach.  “He likes to say that exercise is medicine,” she confided, “and that has really been the case for me.”

Diagnosed with a chronic illness (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS, for short) eight years ago, she had to move around with the help of a walker, and was put on constant bed rest when she initially started working with Garza.  She lacked basic balance and muscle strength, and would pass out most of the time during her workouts.  “It’s a disconnection between my brain and the rest of my autonomic system,” she elaborated, “so anything we take for granted, my breathing, my heart rate, my digestion, [etc.] is out of whack.”

Posing on my second day at the gym. Gault is on the far right.

After a number of trial medications, Gault saw that being active was the one constant that helped her condition.  “[Garza] basically has me for life!  It has not only been a benefit to me, but a benefit to the rest of my family,” she said.

When listening to Gault speak about how far she has come, I felt a divine connection; she is a literal walking miracle.  And she inspires me.

I do not know how long I will be a member of PÜR Fitness, but I hope to be for as long as I possibly can.  And as long as I am, I will claim it as my gym.  For more information, please visit their website here, or their Facebook page.