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Lessons on the Water

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

8 years, and about 40 pounds ago…

I love the ocean.  The sights, smells, tastes, sounds and feels bring me great peace and nostalgia.  My mind recollects moments of my childhood:  camping in tents on the beach with my family, devouring sandwiches with hints of sand, spending time on the water with paddle boats and shallow water crafts, enjoying fresh caught fish for many dinners, and learning how to cast.

Learning to fish has been a slow process for me.  While I enjoyed tagging along on different excursions in my adolescence, I seldom paid attention to the sport itself.  Like a wave that has laid dormant, angling recently resurfaced and devoured me whole.

One of the reasons I love it is that it parallels life.  The following are some of the greatest lessons I have learned  on the water.

Go Where the Fish Are

Whether you are fishing in the bay, off the jetties, in a river or from a pier, take note of where other people are.  That is where you are most likely to catch something.  Great fishermen and women will cast in a nearby area.  If you are on a boat and see another barge leave a nearby spot and circle back around, you know they’ve had success.

This was an incredible day of fishing! We caught so many that the net tore (there were four of us).

We cannot live life alone.  We need other people in order to thrive.  Individuals that are like-minded and will support us in reaching our goals.  These companions may vary according to the season of life you find yourself in, but it is integral to have them– at least one.

Examine the Conditions 

The moon, its gravitational pull on the Earth, tides, wind and weather all affect cold-blooded aquatic vertebrae.  To encourage bites, it’s best to have a balance of these elements.  While the conditions will not always be ideal, there are certain combinations and formulas that work best.  Examples are fishing after a new moon on a clear day, with 5-10 mile per hour winds.  When you hit that near perfect combination, it’s glorious.

Some of the greatest anglers I’ve ever known still have excursions where they catch nothing.  The perfect environment does not guarantee you will hook a big one.

Our existence is directly influenced by our circumstances, and so are the choices we make.  How you deal with the highs and lows is more of a character marker than your skill set.  Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, areas that need improvement, and taking an occasional, honest inventory of yourself will only make you better.  Being aware of the context  you are in and how you respond is key.

Know Your Fish

I’ve had a skin condition since the age of 14, Pityriasis Lichenoides Chronica.  The “chronica” implies that I’ll have it for life.  It does not hurt or itch.  It does not show up on the trunk of my body or face, but mostly manifests itself on my limbs.  When I was on a fishing trip as a teenager, someone looked at me and said, “If you were a fish, you’d be a Speckled Trout!”  As a self conscious teen, the comment hurt my feelings and made me want to continue covering up the problem areas with jeans and long-sleeves, even on sweltering South Texas days.

Looking back on the incident, I know the person meant it as a sincere compliment.  Specked Trout are beautiful fish.  They are also some of my favorite seafood.  As it turns out, sun exposure, sand and water are the best treatments for my skin problem.

 Learning about fish varieties is helpful when purchasing bait,  setting the hook, picking a casting spot, filleting and cooking them.

This was a neat moment on the water! My husband and I got a double hook-up, meaning we caught and reeled in two fish (Trout) at the exact same time. About 7 months pregnant here…

Ideally, I would like to spend time near the water every weekend, particularly on the bay, South Padre Island or Boca Chica Beach.  Each of these destinations is only about 30 minutes from my house.  As a mother of three children ages 5 and under, however, that is not realistic.

This current stage of life consumes me and my time.  If I am able to pursue other interests and hobbies outside of my immediate family, it is a rare treat.  With each passing year that I’m alive, time seems to go faster.  I often heard older people speak of this when I was younger; now, I’m living it.  Prioritizing what is most important requires intentionality.

Ultimately, I am raising three incredible human beings to thrive in this world; eventually, it will be without me.

Be a Good Samaritan

I’m a spiritual person.  My favorite lessons are those I learn that apply to deep convictions I have.  For those not familiar with the story of the Good Samaritan, click here.  In short, it speaks of loving the Lord and loving your neighbor as yourself.  It’s easy to read this narrative and think, “I would be the Good Samaritan in that situation.”  What if doing so would greatly inconvenience you?  Or worse, require you to sacrifice?

I’ve heard tales of people being stranded on a boat with no one to come to their rescue.  I almost experienced this myself.

On a fishing trip with family earlier this year, our motor stopped working in the middle of the bay.  We tried restarting it, and taking off the cover and using a rope to turn it back on.  Nothing worked.  Thus, we started drifting, and finally tied ourselves to the dock of a houseboat.  We waved many other boats down.  Texas law says if you see a stranded watercraft you are to ask if help is needed or call for assistance.

Many groups drove right on by, a couple slowed down and asked how they could assist, ending with, “Umm, sure, if you all are still here on the way back we’ll pull you to shore.”  We knew they didn’t mean it.  We immediately began praying and planned to borrow the battery of a similar sized barge to get our motor going again.  We just needed one to show up and stop.

After waiting a couple of hours, one finally did!  They let us use their battery to start up our motor so we could get going again.  We thanked them profusely, prayed with them and drove back to shore.

My first Red!  Just a little excited…

This was also the day I caught my first redfish, so the trip was not entirely in vain.

I shudder to think of how long and difficult the afternoon would have been had that boat not stopped.  It was full of men (about 6) that also had plans of catching their limit that day.

While I cannot hope to save the world, I can do the small and large tasks I am called to daily.  I can pray that I have “eyes to see and ears to hear” the needs of those around me, even if they’re not written in my planner.  And I hope that when I am the one in need, I can humbly ask for assistance and graciously accept.

I am a visionary and have plans of catching all sorts of fish over the course of my lifetime.  In many ways, I will always be a beginner in my lessons on the water.

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Serving Up Valentines

T-minus one day until Valentine’s Day!  There tend to be two opposite camps when it comes to celebrating this grandiose holiday.  Participants love it and go all out (read:  when I was in high school many years ago, the main office would be chalk full of red, pink and white balloons attached to life size bears).  This is not an exaggeration.  I was never on the receiving end of such pompous gestures, but I digress.

There are those that detest the thought of acknowledging the Hallmark occasion, swearing that love should be celebrated all the time, and not just on a particular day.  Whatever your side, there is no denying that at the core of who we are, we want to be and feel loved.

I have spoken with many couples over the years whose communication was at a crossfire.  A former coworker summed it up best.  After more than 30 years of marriage, his wife left him.  “She said I didn’t love her anymore,” he shared.  “She told me that our house and her closet were full of fine things, clothes, linens, but that wasn’t love.”  My heart broke for him.

In his book The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines the five ways most people give and receive love.  Below, I have outlined them with some ideas on how to meet them.

If you do not know what your preferred language is, or that of your significant other or close friend(s), taking this quiz is a good place to start.

Acts of Service:  I am quite familiar with this category, as it is my most dominant one.  My day is made when my husband takes out the trash, does the dishes or helps with the laundry, particularly if I do not have to ask him to.  Likewise, when I prepare supper for him, take care of the children, or ask him if he would like something from the kitchen when I grab an item for myself, it is my way of showing him that I care.  Other ideas to help an Acts of Service extraordinaire feel loved:  fill up their gas tank, pick up the house one day, take the children off their hands so they can enjoy some alone time, and serve them a beverage or snack.

Locals, check out Seeds of Hope on Facebook. My Valentine and I completed this painting under their instruction and enjoyed some great quality time while creating it.

Quality Time:  I can go weeks without seeing some of my closest friends.  Because of the season of life I am currently in, sometimes this is the norm.  As long as I have their undivided attention when we are together, and vice-versa, my love cup is full.  This is also the case with long-distance friendships.  A special text to let me know I am being thought of goes a
long way, as do those rare, but cherished, phone conversations.  Helpful ideas for quality timers:  go out for a one-on-one coffee date, put the cell phone down, ask lots of questions and listen intently to their responses, and make good eye-contact.

Words of Affirmation:  My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years.  His spirit can live or die by my words.  I have seen him physically stand taller and walk stronger when I praise him.  His inner spirit perking up manifests itself on the outside.  For word lovers:  write what you love about them as a morning message on a mirror, in marker or lipstick, write them a special note and place it somewhere they would not expect it, call them and let them know all the ways you appreciate them, and let them hear you praising them in front of others.

Physical Touch:  While the practice of this particular form of communication may seem obvious, it is not always.  The art of physical touch is not only important to perfect in the bedroom with your spouse, but outside of it as well.  Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, kissing and caressing in nonsexual ways are of utmost importance to a person whose number one goal is physical touch in a relationship.  Among girlfriends, I will occasionally reach out and pat them on the back, hug them or put my hand somewhere that affirms I am listening to them.

Need some thoughtful gift ideas? Adore Me Personalized Cards to the rescue!

Gifts:  I must confess, this is the love language I struggle with the most.  I am not the best gift-giver.  Rather than trying to “break even” in returning my affection to people that have lavished me with presents, I have outright asked what they would like, made homemade gifts, gifted photos of our children and family to them, and paid careful attention to items they have mentioned they needed or wanted. Along with the gift idea card, AdoreMe has some great gift ideas on things from comfy pjs to workout gear that make great gifts.

Now tell me, do you and your significant other have fun traditions you do every year for Valentine’s Day?  Do you go out with friends?  If you did not previously know about their love languages, how is this new knowledge going to help you to better love and serve them in the future?  I would love to hear from you!

My main squeeze and me. We are lifelong love students of one another.
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The Problem with “Skinny”

Disclaimer:  There are people I care deeply about who are naturally thin.  This post is in no way meant to demean you or anyone else who is slender.  Enjoy the gift, I say!

Personal

The story of how I came across PÜR (Personal, Unique and Rewarding) Fitness is quite serendipitous.  I was mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed in early December, when I read the local gym would be giving away various packages for the month.  Knowing that I needed to take charge of my health and make changes, I filled out a quick, online survey that included my name, basic information, and why I was interested in winning.

It was the third week in December that I found out I had won a significant combo:  12 FREE workout sessions for the month of January, a package normally worth $150.  I was ecstatic!  I knew this was the new beginning I longed for.

I’m not athletic.  In elementary school, I was that child that preferred having free time over structured physical activities.  I loathed whenever we were assessed for grades.  The sun was hot; the South Texas blacktop, even hotter.

October 12, 2008: the day I ran the Chicago Marathon. I will likely never be this skinny again (and yes, I was in this photo). I’m okay with that.

When I was living in Iowa in my early twenties, I had a friend introduce me to jogging.  We started off slowly, with interval training (ex: 2 minutes of walking, 1 minute of jogging, alternating for 30 minutes).  After a couple of months she challenged me to sign up for a 5K.  I did, and the rest is history.  I ran the Chicago Marathon in 2008, and the San Antonio Rock n’ Roll Marathon in 2010.  I fell in love with the endorphins and everything about running.

Flash-forward to almost ten years later, and people still associate me with marathoning.  While I do not mind this, my marathoning days are well behind me.  Because I ran much then, peers sometimes assume I still do, or that at the very least, I am athletic.

With comments some have shared over the years, I get the impression that I’m someone who’s viewed as having an easier time than others managing my weight.  Having three children in the span of the last five years (all delivered via c-section), has left me feeling like a stranger in my own body.  Examples of these shared remarks:

When doing Zumba with friends and speaking to an instructor, one of them, referring to me, said, “Ella no lo necesita.  Ella ya esta flaca.”  Meaning, “She doesn’t need this class.  She’s already skinny.”

When traveling with a dear friend abroad:  “I wish I had your body.”

Well-meaning acquaintances during my pregnancy:  “You’re one of those pregnant ladies that’s all belly!”

Meanwhile, I have had an incredibly difficult time shedding the baby weight after carrying three children back-to-back.  My social media feed bursts with moms who have lost all the weight—and then some—nursing.  I am still nursing my 7-month-old daughter regularly and exercising more than I have in a long time.  But, I have only managed to drop half of the baby weight.  I have learned recently, though, that it’s not always about the number on the scale.

Unique 

Today’s small group working with two of our trainers, Brenda and Elizabeth. They kick my butt every Monday (Body Sculpting).

When I first stepped into PÜR Fitness, there were many qualities that made it stand out as a nontraditional gym.  Smaller than most commercialized gyms, there were about 4-5 people working out that particular hour.  As I tried different classes (TRX, HIIT and Body Sculpting) throughout the month, I found that these smaller crowds are the norm, and I LOVE it.  Every time I attended a session, I received individual attention from one of the trainers.  Every time.

As a former gym hater, I never liked huge complexes sprawling with people.  Frankly, when I was working with a personal trainer at another local gym in my mid-twenties, I felt like such places were meat markets.  You could feel the tension as different gym-goers competed to hook-up with one another.  I was not interested.

I have felt a positive difference in my energy levels and can tell that I have lost inches.  Friendships are being developed with people I would not normally get to interact with and I am so thankful.

Rewarding

Owner and trainer Omar Garza decided to leave the corporate gym world in order to fulfill his vision of working with and helping people.  Established in 2009, Garza has a long-term dream of building a 5,000 sq. ft. facility that will be utilized as a private, membership-based facility, with an emphasis on personal training.  A lover of people, he cherishes the relationships he builds with his clients.

Garza inspires the community to lead healthier and more active lifestyles, recognizing that such a feat is especially challenging in Brownsville, where taco stands and panaderías (or bakeries) dominate food choices.  “Having a sick father figure at home that struggled with diabetes and heart issues made me want to give back and help,” he sincerely shared.

Family members Mary Valdez, and Rene and Maria Elena Corbeil have been PÜR Fitness clients for four years.  Valdez, a 70-year old former pre-diabetic, shared the sources of her faithfulness, “I’m able to move around [more].  I’m able to get off the floor.”

From L-R: Clients Rene and Maria Elena Corbeil, and Mary Valdez. Trainers Elizabeth Doster (intern), and husband and wife team Brenda Rosas and Omar Garza.

Rene Corbeil originally joined because his cholesterol, blood pressure and sugar levels were out of control.  His doctor encouraged him to change his habits in order to get off of medication.  He is currently medication-free.

Maria Elena added, “For me, I feel really energetic on one hand, and it’s helped me get rid of my nervous energy on the other hand.  So for me it really helps manage stress.  I’m much calmer.  I sleep better at night.”

The more I spoke with gym members and experienced sessions firsthand, I realized PÜR Fitness is exactly what it sets out to be:  Personalized, Unique and Rewarding.  None of this was more evident than when I spoke with long-term member and new friend, Ana Bodden Gault.

Under Garza’s tutelage for six years, Gault is nearly brought to tears when speaking of her coach.  “He likes to say that exercise is medicine,” she confided, “and that has really been the case for me.”

Diagnosed with a chronic illness (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS, for short) eight years ago, she had to move around with the help of a walker, and was put on constant bed rest when she initially started working with Garza.  She lacked basic balance and muscle strength, and would pass out most of the time during her workouts.  “It’s a disconnection between my brain and the rest of my autonomic system,” she elaborated, “so anything we take for granted, my breathing, my heart rate, my digestion, [etc.] is out of whack.”

Posing on my second day at the gym. Gault is on the far right.

After a number of trial medications, Gault saw that being active was the one constant that helped her condition.  “[Garza] basically has me for life!  It has not only been a benefit to me, but a benefit to the rest of my family,” she said.

When listening to Gault speak about how far she has come, I felt a divine connection; she is a literal walking miracle.  And she inspires me.

I do not know how long I will be a member of PÜR Fitness, but I hope to be for as long as I possibly can.  And as long as I am, I will claim it as my gym.  For more information, please visit their website here, or their Facebook page.

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The Art of the Gracious No

My earliest people pleasing memory occurred when I was in kindergarten.  My mother and I were shopping for what I would wear to the small, but ever important, graduation ceremony.  We went to Payless and she picked two pairs of shoes off the shelves for me to try on.  The first pair was white, simple and matte, with a single strap that ran across the top.  The second was black, lustrous and fanciful, with a strap you could wear across the top or slide behind the heel so your shoes appeared strapless.  “Ohhh…” I thought to myself, “that’s fancy!”  This opinion was shared by most girls my age in the latter part of the 1980’s; these shoes were it.

Noting my expression, my mom looked at me and said, “You probably like the black ones best.”  For a reason unknown to me, I took that to mean that she wanted me to choose the white pair.  “No,” I responded, “I like the white ones.”  “Really?!” she answered in disbelief.  Ultimately, she purchased both pairs and I enjoyed wearing them on different occasions.  But that event marked the beginning, in my memory, of at least 20 more years of striving to meet the expectations of others, real or not.

Can you pick me out in this lineup?!  You may have guessed by my arm position that my ballet career was short-lived.

This past December I turned 35 years old.  While I do not consider myself to be old, I am, in fact, growing older.  My wisdom lights are coming in at a more rapid pace, intertwining with my dark, curly locks.  I’ve decided that I like them, for now.  Check back with me in a month and see if I have the same opinion.  I cannot remember a time in my life that I have felt more comfortable in my own skin.

Last year, a dear friend gifted a book to me, The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst.  In it, the author shares ways she has spread herself too thin in the past and what helps her prioritize her life.

I ate. it. up.  Every word. There is a phrase she quotes in the book when needing to say no to something.  I have adjusted it so it sounds like something I would share.  When needing to turn down an invitation or opportunity, I try to respond with, “I am not able to give that (whatever the event) the attention it deserves right now.”  I have said no so many times these last couple of years.  No to good things and worthwhile endeavors.

I shudder to think of how I survived my early twenties, running from person to person, and event to event, eager to do it all and do it well.

Now I’m more contented staying in, enjoying the company of my husband, three children and dog.  I like group happenings and celebrations when I participate.  I love and am fascinated by people.  My social media feed is full of people posing with their squads—friendships, gym memberships, organizations and clubs—and it’s all good stuff!  My main squad is my family.  Someone once said if you reach the end of your life and can count true friends on one hand, you have been blessed.  The older I get, the more I realize this is true.

There are other messages and ideals I have had to refute; some subtle and others more overt:

“Be a Professional Suzie Homemaker whose house is always spotless, meals are picture perfect, family dynamics are über-peaceful and has a flawless marriage!”

No.

“Be that mom who is president of the PTA, her local MOPS chapter, a Rotary Club member, and yoga instructor all-in-one!”

No, thanks.

“Take pictures of every interaction, every second of your day and post them to social media.  Because inquiring minds want to know how you spend all your time and who your best friends in the whole wide world are!”

Pass.

“Spend your days eating twigs and berries because everything else is going to give you cancer!”

Nope.  Eat that slice of cake.  In moderation, of course.

“Be that lady that goes to the gym every morning at 5 a.m. wearing nothing but spandex, because, you know, you’re that toned.”

Yeah, right!

May I touch on an issue that has dominated my newsfeed these days?  Politics.  I have kinsfolk and comrades on both sides of the fence.  I have witnessed families being torn apart, at least online, by differing opinions.  I refuse to take the bait.  Please do not mistake my online silence for apathy.  I would compare myself to the Chinese proverb that states, “Be like a duck: calm on the surface but paddling like mad underneath.”

As a Reformed People Pleaser, I have been humbled on many occasions.  I tend to think of life in semesters.  At the end of each one, I reevaluate who and what I am giving my time to.

Inevitably, every couple of years, adjustments have to be made.  I once assumed I would reach a stage where I would no longer overcommit to things, that it would become a struggle of the past.  This has not been the case.

There is the delicate balance of living life and affording opportunities for your children, but not letting busyness run you ragged.

Here’s to a year of more confident, but gracious no’s, in order that my yes’s be reserved for what warrants my undivided attention.

 

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Emily Post’s Rules for Politics

Okay, really they’re mine.  As a young participant in the Lower Valley Cotillion Club, I was given the charge to read Emily Post’s Rules for Teen Etiquette.  I have wondered recently, what she would have to say during this election season.

We are at the tail end of what has been a historically heated period.  I have mostly been a quiet observer via social media, with my mother’s sound advice to me as an adolescent constantly at the back of my mind, “Don’t discuss religion and politics with people.”  Certainly, I am thankful to have heeded such advice, especially with the potential of my words living on forever in cyberspace.

Below, I have listed a handful things we can all do instead of firing off at one another with the touch of a screen.

1.  Be thankful.
Give thanks that we live in a democracy where we have a say in who leads it.  Be grateful for our freedoms and not constantly living in fear.  While it can be argued that we have a long way to go in certain areas, a quick look at our brief history will show that we have, indeed, made significant progress as a nation overall.  Not all countries in the world offer the same privileges to their citizens.

2.  Take the conversation offline.
I have yet to meet someone whose mind was changed based on a Facebook post or Tweet.  Might I recommend that online venues are not the best place to discuss such matters?  I mean, God forbid that you meet with someone over coffee and talk face to face, right?  And if it is a person you don’t see eye to eye with, it can be downright frightening!  There’s something about hiding behind a screen that makes us more bold.  I would also interject that the goal of such conversations should not be to change the other person’s mind, rather to help them understand your point of view and vice-versa.

3.  Go VOTE.
Whatever your politics, if you sit this one out, you have forfeited your right to complain.  You may feel especially passionate about a particular candidate, or you may detest them all.  Either way, this is the most powerful move for your voice to be heard.  Also, you have every right to keep mum about who you support.  It’s not necessary to let everyone know who you voted for. (That’s why it’s a secret ballot!)  Frankly, most won’t care.

4.  Pray.
“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” -2 Chronicles 7:14

Please do not misunderstand this post.  I am not saying that posting articles in support of your candidate or their policies is inherently bad.  I am gently suggesting that arguing online over the nominees and issues does not get you (or them) anywhere.

I look forward to the morning of November 9th, when my Newsfeed will (hopefully) be filled once again with photos of families, events and accomplishments.  On really hard days, I even miss selfies and gym posts.

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A Safety Net

When I heard about this company, Earnest, earlier this week, and was sent their blog post here, I had to laugh at how much my financial responsibilities have changed over the past ten years.  This is the second financial institution I was introduced to within the last few months.  You can read the other financial post on my blog here.

As a young, single teacher in my early twenties, I had no desire to save money and seldom thought of emergency situations.  I paid my bills on time and often had a small surplus of funds that I spent selfishly.  I would go salsa dancing with friends every other week, and loved shopping for new dresses and accessories.  If I was later invited to a party or gathering and did not have money to buy a gift, I would whip out my credit card.  Bad idea.  All those little swipes began adding up to big debt!

At a roaring 20’s party in my mid-twenties.  Do not be
fooled by the photo; I could have been better about
handling my finances.

When my husband and I were engaged, we took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class at our church.  Over seven years of marriage later, I still say it was one of the best decisions we made.  It ensured that we were on the same page financially.  Ramsey has what he refers to as 7 Baby Steps:  1. Save $1,000 2. Pay off debt 3. 3-6 month fund 4. Invest 5. College 6. Pay off house 7. Give

Because we are a young family with three children ages five and under, and life happens, we have spent some time hanging around Step 3.  We also regularly do Step 7.  We hope to eventually tackle Steps 4-6 simultaneously.  All in good time.  Step 2 can be made easier and help you with Step 1 by refinancing your student loans to lower your rate and payment with companies like Earnest.

When building an emergency fund past the initial $1,000, you want to have 3-6 months worth of your expenses saved up.  The logic being, should calamity strike (job loss, natural disaster, accident, etc.), you will not go into debt providing for your family’s everyday needs.  It gives you a small cushion and window of time to gain control of your finances again.

Back in April of this year, we had plans to begin converting our garage into a piano studio.  We had saved up money and received our income tax return, which would help.  About a week after deciding to move ahead with our blueprints, our city received a large amount of rain in a brief amount of time.  During the storm, we noticed that our kitchen ceiling started leaking.  As often happens in life, we had to put what we wanted on hold in exchange for what we needed:  a new roof.  Though I was initially disappointed at having to hold-off on the studio, I was thankful that we had the funds necessary for our new home improvement project.

Adventures in life are great!  Having a safety net in case
something goes wrong is ideal.

Situations like these, though not super common, have happened enough to show me the absolute importance of having a safety net.  Because of our commitment to living debt-free and continually building and rebuilding our savings fund, we have managed to stay afloat when unexpected events have occurred.  We have not had to borrow money to make ends meet.

If you are interested in reading more on the importance of saving and getting your finances in order, I highly recommend visiting Dave Ramsey’s website here.  For a step-by-step guide on how much you should ideally set aside in an emergency fund and how to do that, read this Earnest blog entry.  When you find yourself in a situation and are not sure if you should dip into your emergency fund, ask yourself these questions first.

I shudder when I reflect on some of the poor financial decisions I made in my early twenties.  Though I learned valuable lessons and had times when I was greatly humbled, I am happy that I no longer live there.  

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Jammin’ with my Berries

A dear friend that I attended college with, Becky, is an Independent Jamberry Consultant.  When she contacted me recently and asked if I would write a blog post and review their product, I eagerly accepted.  I had seen many on Facebook and elsewhere sporting Jamberry nails.
My clone’s hand and mine.  The pattern Becky picked for me
perfectly matched my Qalo ring: bonus!
A bit of history before I go any further: I am extremely practical.  I wear make-up once a week, on Sundays.  As a stay-at-home mom who works part-time, this has been the case for the past five years. In my former profession as a classroom teacher, there were days that I did not have time to put my face on, as some say, before heading out the door.  I was au naturel before Alicia Keys made it cool.
Do not be misled, I love being pampered.  Massages and pedicures are the way to my heart!  However, I only treat myself to such pleasures a few times a year.  Manicures have never been worth the investment, in my humble opinion.  My nails typically begin chipping after one week of use.  
Enter:  Jamberries!
My daughter’s hands

I was not super familiar with “jams” (what the cool kids call them) except that they looked cute.  Within a week of agreeing to blog about them, I received a Thirty-One bag that had all I needed to try them out.  Becky was quite thoughtful and not only picked out a pattern for me, but sent some for my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, too.  For complete instructions on how to apply jams, please watch this video.  There is also a Spanish version here.

If you’re anything like me, after watching that video, you’re thinking, “That’s an extensive process…”  I watched it a couple of times and set out all the needed supplies before taking the plunge.  And you know what?  It was easy.  Not only that, but my daughter, who requests that I give her a manicure at least once a week, sat through the whole process while I applied the jams to her right hand!  She peeled them off about 30 minutes later, but she liked them!
My jams after two weeks!  So, I can’t be a hand model…
I would liken jams to stickers.  Mine lasted for two whole weeks before finally starting to peel off.  And the reason they started coming off was because strands of my hair (of which there is a lot!) would get stuck in the tiny crevices left due to my nails growing.  Over the course of those fourteen days, they endured:  washing dishes, working in my garden, pruning trees and plants, showering, doing laundry and playing with my three children.  I was surprised at just how durable they are!  And receiving compliments on them was a nice change of pace for me!
Needless to say, I am a fan of the jams.  More importantly, they are affordable.  The designs that are available to choose from are endless!  With the holidays upon us, a quick browse through a catalog is sure to find you something you would like!  Please take the time to browse my friend Becky’s website here.  
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On Being Content

I’m an ambitious person.  I typically have a special project I’m working on or our towards outside of my wifely (pastor’s wife, at that), motherly, friendship and piano teaching duties.  When my husband and I first became engaged, we agreed that I would stay at home to raise our children (when they came around) for a season, with the understanding that I would keep a part-time job.  “Also, you need to know that I will always have side projects.  Otherwise, I’ll go crazy, ” I said to him.
Why yes, oldest daughter, some days
I feel like this, too.
Presently, I find myself living the life we envisioned years ago.  The life that I dreamed of, then.  Our four-year old son attends school, and our two and a half year old and three month old girls stay home with me.  Just last night, I was conversing with a dear friend over the phone, venting about the monotony of my day-to-day schedule.  “You are an incredible mother,” she shared, “incredible.”  “Thank you,” I responded.  Truthfully, she could have shared, “the sun comes up each day,” and it would have had the same effect.  “Is it enough?” I have often wondered.

 

This year has been marred by unexpected events and death.  I feel like I am constantly running to catch up with basic, daily responsibilities, barely keeping things afloat.  I go back and forth between wanting more and craving less.  Rejection from writing contests and speaking events has become the norm.  My current figurative state, sitting by a window and waiting for the next big thing.  And feeling like I will internally combust if someone asks anything more of me, yelling, “What more do you want from me?!  I have nothing left to give.“
I am certain that had I been born male, my name would have been Jacob.  In the Old Testament of the Bible, Jacob was the man that wrestled with the Lord.  Literally.  I am constantly wrestling with the Lord, trying to discern what He has for me next.  In the midst of what has been a challenging year, He has shown Himself faithful and answered so many prayers.  Still, I find myself asking Him why, how and when.  Quiet, reflective moments are hard to come by.  When I do have them, I feel Him whispering the same thing, “My child, this is what I have for you.  This is what I’ve called you to—you’re already doing it.”
“But, God,” I often interrupt, “what else?”  
 
And so it is with us, right now.  Me, frantically looking around at all these other things I could be doing, and the Lord, gently and constantly reminding me that I am doing what is best for now.
“I have learned to be content in any circumstance.  I have experienced times of need and times of abundance.  In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing.  I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:11-13

 

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Musings on Love

“No one has greater love than this– that one lays down his life for his friends.” -John 15:13

There was a period in my life when I was obsessed with the idea of love.  As a freshman in college, I read every book I could get my hands on that dealt with the topic.  When I would meet and visit with married couples, I typically asked how they knew they had found the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.  Answers varied.  One response, in particular, stuck with me.  “If you’re not ready to give up your life for someone else,” this woman said, “you’re not ready to get married.”  “That’s a little drastic…” I thought to myself.

As an education major at Central College, I heard countless stories of young ladies who were taken to a particular bench at a nearby park to have a DTR (Defining the Relationship) talk with what would be their future spouse.  I listened to each tale with awestruck wonder, yearning to be that girl.  When my junior and senior years rolled around, it felt like I had a wedding to attend every other weekend.  Lavish and sacred events, I sometimes envied the couples exchanging vows before me.  They were so in love.

I had no desire to get married at that point, but I did want someone I could stroll through our little town of Pella, Iowa, with, arm in arm, gazing up at him with lovestruck eyes.   I filled journal upon journal with entries about how he looked at me that particular day, or caressed my hand or said something special. (The he would be someone different, in my imagination, with each changing season.)  I would cling to each him loyally with tunnel vision thinking that he was the one.

If I could have a conversation with my younger self, I would say, “I know you are confused about what love is, but it is not what I believe you think it is.”

I have matured much since being in my early twenties.  Recent events in my life have caused me to pause and reflect on what real love looks like, timeless snapshots kept in the camera of my heart:

Love is…

Walking in the ocean with one of my best friends in high school, mostly covered up because I was so self-conscious about my skin.  I told him this, and he gently put his hand on my leg, looked at me, and said, “You’re beautiful.”  Not in a selfish or sexual way, but in a way that said, “You are my friend and I love you.”

A father forgiving his daughter though she has repeatedly broken his heart.

My lifelong family friend who took me shopping for school supplies and clothing at the beginning of each academic year, expecting nothing in return.  I lived for the living room fashion shows I put on for my family afterwards, wearing the latest Kmart and Payless trends.

A mother waking up before the sun rises to pray for her estranged daughter.

My husband filling my Ozark cup with ice water for the evening and setting it by my bedside every night.

Me, choosing to stay at home with my children, and continually wiping their butts, wiping away their tears, teaching and instructing them “in the way they should go.”

Friends that will stop what they’re doing to help in your time of need.

There are many things that our world, and especially our society, say that love is.  As for me, I say that Jesus, the woman I quoted at the beginning of this post, and Shakespeare, in some of his writings, got it right.  I will leave you with my favorite Sonnet:


“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.” 

-Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare

Now, what do you say love is?

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For the Love of Convenience

Meet Hershey, our Chocolate Lab.

Hello, everyone!  I’m happy to be back in the lovely world of blogging.  I unintentionally took the month of August off due to our family transitioning from four members to six—with the birth of our second daughter on June 19th, and the adoption of our chocolate lab about a month ago.  I would liken life, currently, to a constant three-ring circus:  challenging, fun and noisy.

The Wal-Mart Grocery Pick-Up program has been a lifesaver for us this summer.  Historically, I have not been the biggest fan of Wal-Mart (for reasons I won’t disclose in this post).  About a year ago, they built a store in our neighborhood.  With the convenience of it being five minutes away (when walking), I frequented the store much more than I ever had.

An example of our “favorites”
that are automatically listed
when we shop online.

At the beginning of June, I saw different friends sharing links for $10 off a first Wal-Mart pick-up order through Facebook.  At the encouragement of my husband, I decided to check it out.  Friends, I don’t know that I will step foot in a grocery store ever again.  The convenience of ordering my groceries online and having them delivered to my van has been spectacular!  If you have not experienced this yet and would like to, follow these steps :

1.  Go to the Wal-Mart grocery website here.  There is also an app you can download for your phone (Walmart Grocery).  We have had the easiest time going to the website on our phones.  When you become a frequent online shopper, your “favorites” will automatically be saved, making it much easier to shop for your next purchases.

2.  Search for the groceries you would like to order.  This is especially helpful if you are a financially frugal nerd, like my husband.  It makes it easy to compare prices per ounce and get the best bang for your buck, so to speak.  Fresh baked and cooked goods are not included in the pick-up program (ex:  Rotisserie Chicken and French Bread).  If they don’t have the particular amount of the item you request in stock, they substitute a larger one at no cost.

Park here or in another
designated area and call for
pickup.


3.  Schedule a pick-up time for the following day, proceed to checkout and use this code to get $10.00 of your first order.  Bonus:  If you use this code, we both get $10.00 off our next orders!

4.  Drive to the Wal-Mart on Boca Chica Blvd or Alton Gloor Blvd (if you are local) and park in the designated area.  Call the number listed on the grocery pick-up sign and wait while a worker brings out your order, has you sign for it, and loads it into your vehicle!

5.  Kindly thank them, enjoy the treat(s) and drive away like the boss you are!  Depending on the worker, I have been given (at the very least) a bottle of water, Takis and Hershey bars.

This is Sonia.  She works at the Walmart on Boca Chica
and gives the best treats!

That’s it!  Easy, right?  It’s important to note that this is a FREE program, and the workers are not allowed to accept tips.  The best way to thank them is to fill out the survey they provide the link for when they hand you your receipt.  Thanks for reading, and Happy Shopping!